A Kind Of Reverse Homesickness

Travel Forums Off Topic A Kind Of Reverse Homesickness

1. Posted by Fridol (First Time Poster 1 posts) 5y Star this if you like it!

Hi everyone, I would like to share my story about a reverse homesickness. Fist I did not have the best of times growing up. I do feel very bad about being ungrateful for stating that. Actually I had the absolute greatest conditions and a safe family so I am fully blaming myself for not enjoying it.

However, as soon as I graduated from school were I moving abroad for almost a year. I had the best of times and such a freedom after feeling almost a bit psychologically suffocated both in a small village and having this mental issue of ungratefulness. When I was abroad I grew as a person, created a social environment I dreamt about but hadn’t being able to create for myself earlier. Also the physical environment was great, such a freedom and living in a bigger city compared to my small village I grew up in. In sum, I was flourishing as a person and I was proud for creating it all by myself in a way I did not thought was possible. I was getting my first boyfriend two weeks before I left (we broke up after four weeks in cause of me leaving) and at my farewell party I realised how much I cared of my surrounding people and it appeared to be mutual.
I was not ready to leave so it felt very suddenly as I became accepted to university in my home country and moved back home. In addition was it a very dramatic leaving and I do not feel as I have anyone who would think it is relevant to listen about. Returning to my country felt as a failure. I felt as I lost everything I valued and am not interested in creating something new.

Now for three months have I not adapted to my new environment and is homesick back to my home abroad. I’m trying to do things supposed to help against it but part of the problem is that I now live in a very small city in a rural area with a very reserved and calm culture. Not the lively, busy culture exchanges I’m searching for. I think this is the cause it is difficult for me to get new friends. I do not simply want to or can concentrate on being here. Also, I have recently realised how extremely lonely I now feel. I feel as I’ve lost a family, twice. I haven’t talked to someone with all this on my heart, it is difficult to really connect with someone because I haven’t found anyone who could relate to my experience. Also I do feel very ungrateful of this and do not want to talk about it with everyone. So I guess it is a bad spiral.

Is there anyone who had a similar experience who like to share their feelings? I am sure I am far from alone and I would appreciate a lot of hearing your stories as I also think you can help me with your experiences.