Tips To Reconcile With Failed Long Distance Relationship

Travel Forums Off Topic Tips To Reconcile With Failed Long Distance Relationship

1. Posted by Planeterium (Budding Member 20 posts) 3y Star this if you like it!

I've been struggling with this for the past week, but I still can't think of a solution which is why I'm posting this thread here. I know it's a little off topic, but was still wondering if anyone could provide some much needed advice or tips on how I should go about winning my ex-girlfriend back. We were doing long distance before the breakup, which is one of the reasons why I'm not too sure how I should proceed.

Basically, we're both in our 20s, I'm working and she's finishing up her college. We were together for about 6 months before she went on an exchange program, which would take her halfway around the world for about 8 months. It was our first time ever doing LDR and were worried, but tried to make it work. The first 3 weeks were still fine, as we continued to Skype each other and exchange texts, but as things progressed on, it slowly started getting worse.

Perhaps due to lack of physically meeting up or the distance getting to us, we both got increasingly impatient with each other, and fights occurred more frequently. Unfortunately, they could not be easily resolved either because there was no face to face. We had a huge argument last week, and we ended up breaking up. After going through the typical emotional roller coaster most people would, I realized that I still loved her and wanted to make things right. Unfortunately, she wasn't as willing and was afraid that we may end up in the same predicament again.

I know it isn't going to be easy, but I would still like to try to make things work. I don't want to throw everything away just like that. I'd like some advice on how I could go about winning her back, and if there are any tips you could provide to make LDR easier?

2. Posted by Beausoleil (Travel Guru 1743 posts) 3y 2 Star this if you like it!

It might be more practical to move on. My husband and I had a long distance relationship for nearly two years before we married and there were no fights, arguments or problems. Sounds like it wasn't the ideal relationship to start and the separation just made it obvious. They didn't even have Skype back then; we used hand-written letters and the telephone. Perhaps that was easier since we had to think a little before we complained or argued about anything.

At any rate, it seems to be over for her so accept it and see what else life may offer. It always seems like there is only "one" person, but in truth, you can fall in love many times in your life and the next young lady may be much better for you. You may also find that if you cut her loose, she will realize that is not what she wants and she may come back on her own. If you try to convince her, it is more like harassing her than wooing her and that isn't usually viewed kindly. Let it go and see what happens.

Good luck. In a couple years you will look back and wonder why this was a problem. (BTW, we've been married for over 50 years. If it's right; it's right.)

3. Posted by Andrew Mack (Travel Guru 1037 posts) 3y Star this if you like it!

This is just my opinion and I'm sure a few people have made LDRs work, but generally they fail.
A couple of months is the limit from what I've seen, although if you'd been together for 2 or 3 years previously then it can last a bit longer (or if you've been married a few years then a year or two is possible).
Sorry this isn't what you want to hear but my recommendation would be to move on.
By all means Keep in touch as friends and maybe you can revive the relationship when you're both in the same area if you're still both 'free', but try to enjoy your life now.
If you do get back together later then you'll both have grown.

4. Posted by Planeterium (Budding Member 20 posts) 3y Star this if you like it!

Thank you for your reply. Beausoleil, I completely agree that our relationship had issues. But I think long distance is even harder these days because you can literally contact anyone in the world in a second.
"Why didn't you reply to my text?"
"You were online and you didn't think to text me?"

Stuff like that really builds up the frustration.

Andrew Muck, we are planning to stay in touch. In fact, that's what she wants. But I think I need some more space. I realized I wanted her back more than she her. I was a bit more invested in the relationship than her. I recently came across this article on winning her back ( ) that said I should first get myself together first. Get myself back before trying anything with her. So I've decided to do no contact for a while. Maybe I will try contacting her when I feel confident enough in myself.

[ Edit: Sorry, no promos please. ]

5. Posted by Beausoleil (Travel Guru 1743 posts) 3y Star this if you like it!

I guess instant isn't so good. That would drive me crazy. Constant pressure can't be good for anyone . . .