to go or not to go - emotional dilemma

Travel Forums General Talk to go or not to go - emotional dilemma

1. Posted by ddcarlo (First Time Poster 1 posts) 15y Star this if you like it!

For years I have wanted to travel and lately it has really become a pressing issue. So, I have been giving my own situation a lot of thought, and it basically comes down to several reasons holding me back from my trip.

Money, which I could work a second job for two years and then go. I am not and never have been a stranger to hard work. I have held waitress jobs in the past to help buy my house. Although, I have given it a lot of thought I just don't want and I don't even know if I could have the staying power to constantly maintain a second job for two years for a dubious payoff of traveling to other places. I have thought long and hard and would it even be worth it? I know I can't sustain a second job for two years if I am already waffling on the reasons, now.

My life is very comfortable, a rut, but comfortable and secure. If I stay I even have free medical. I have a great job with good people and a loving boyfriend. A good house and a ten old SUV that is finally paid off. I am just getting fully out of credit card debt. There are numerous repairs that need to made on the duplex. This would cut deeply into my savings, anyway.
It is hard to give up suburbia just because I am bored and always have had this feeling riding my ass to travel, explore, or do something other than be a couch potato.

This whole concept is too overwhelming an idea for me to do alone. My boyfriend, who I have been with for twelve years, does not truly support this idea. He gives verbiage support only, holding me back financially, due to the fact that he depends on me and this house, my house. I am the MAIN provider, after all. I have the responsibilities to keep mind of. Meanwhile, I have a mortgage and a life to maintain.

Who would leave a comfortable life for the unknown. Entirely to scary for me.

While my desire to travel has been with me for over 16 years, I find that I can't. To many fears and responsibilities hold me back. While I know this desire has not faded I believe if you starve a dream long enough it will shrivel and die, and I am hoping two weeks vacation a year will stave that off. This just isn't right for me at this time in my life.

So, I will be the armchair traveler enjoying, vicariously, your travels the your postings.



2. Posted by Sam I Am (Admin 5588 posts) 15y Star this if you like it!

Hi ddcarlo,

Thanks for sharing. Everyone has different reasons for travelling (or for not travelling). Personally I have always had the dream to take off and travel for a year or two and take in 30 countries in that period but I realize that is getting harder and harder for me now too (getting married, work etc.)...

Have you ever thought about travelling for a month instead of for a year? I find that in a month I can really see a lot of a country (depending on the size maybe even two) and still relax and enjoy myself without giving up any part of the 'stable' life back home. Or you could consider the option of working overseas for a year or two?

This last option is the one my fiancee and me decided on. I am living in Norway - where she is from - for the next year and a half or so (of course with some trips here and there ;) ) and then we are moving overseas for a couple of years, destination still unknown. Of course making a plan like that so far ahead also gives us the opportunity to save a while and it influenced our decision not to buy an apartment for example.

On the other hand, I have travelled my whole life but more as a person who actually moves to another country and lives there so the above solution for me is not shocking or scary or uncomfortable but to be expected.

The great thing about travelling is that everyone experiences it in a different way, whether it is a 2 week all in or a one year RTW trip. Whichever of the two you prefer and fits best with your comfort zone, both will give you new experiences and that is in my opinion what it is all about!

So, till my next trip, it's armchair travel time

3. Posted by nmarsden (Budding Member 6 posts) 15y Star this if you like it!

Hi ddcarlo

I was in a similar position with thinking about travelling. It never seemed to be the right time with jobs, money, social life etc to give it all up for a year. So my boyfriend and I have decided to make the most of my month long summer holiday I get as a teacher to travel. My boyfriend persuaded his boss to let him have all his holiday together so we are going to Australia for a month this year. We are really excited and have started booking where to go etc. Of course we cannot see everything in a month but are planning to do this type of holiday every few years so we can enjoy seeing the world without giving up our comfortable life. It might be that we decide to live abroad at some time but for now I'm happy just to visit other places for a while.

Hope you can find a solution