TP Novel Three... The Choices One Makes...

Travel Forums Off Topic TP Novel Three... The Choices One Makes...

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31. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 12y Star this if you like it!

Quoting tway

This sounds like a job for the great ursine revolutionary Che Bearvera...

Is Che Bearvera a bear/beaver hybrid?????? Kinky!!!!!!!

32. Posted by Odysseas (Full Member 1359 posts) 12y Star this if you like it!


33. Posted by Jase007 (Respected Member 8870 posts) 12y Star this if you like it!

Tina woke up to the hustle and bustle that is the day to day runnings of a tourest brothel.
When she awoke, she glaced around to see a whole variety of walks of life.
And the whole variety were represented here, there was what looked like a red leather clad hienna, a humming bird that seemed to walk everwhere mumbling something about where was the chocolate kept and who was having aguments with a great big tiger regarding who the chocolate piece belonged to.
A rabbit that was trying to shag everything in sight when it wasn't swigging on a pint of cider.
There were two Kangaroos at the bar (the female seemed to be obseased with getting the perfect martini, while the male was ranting on about how to pour the perfect pint).
Also there was what appeared to be a hobbit sitting under the stairs,a penguin who was trying to dance around the stage but very unsucsessfully,

34. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 12y Star this if you like it!

As Tina looked around at this motley crew of clientele gracing her establishment, she came to several decisions. The first - she would hire Richard (the Antelope) and put him in charge of the laundry service. Not only would she be free from cleaning up after him but, since he never sleeps, he would be the perfect employee. She could even live with the 5 minute masturbation breaks he would take every half hour - off the clock, of course. The second - hire the gimpy red leather-clad Hienna (known only as Heiny) to oversee those patrons who liked to partake in some of the more unconventional "parlor games" offered down in the lower levels of the brothel. Third - have someone stop Brenda(n) (the Penguin) from dancing. There were new arrivals due shortly and s/he had work to do readying the reception area. Fourth - find out why there is a hobbit under the stairs. Fifth - disinfect and bandage the gunshot wound to her right ear. Oh, and clean up all the blood - her blood.

Tina headed off to find Richard, who was still hiding under the coffee table and masturbating away with glee....

"Schnookems..." said the female kangaroo to her mate, "I think you have finally taught this barkeep the perfect martini!'
"Anything for you, Dumpling! You know how much I enjoy a well-made cocktail too!" replied the male Kangaroo. "Barkeep, another round, please, as we are parched from our long journey."
With that, the bartender set about mixing one more pitcher of those perfect martinis....

35. Posted by Jase007 (Respected Member 8870 posts) 12y Star this if you like it!

Just then (yes there will be a few of these in the story) Gods PA came running in the room.
Now you would think that GodsPA would be, well a distinguished beast. But, you'd be wrong, being the tight asre that god is he would only pay minimum wage - so you could imagine that there weren't too many takers for th job. No GodsPA was a 'warthog' and what a smelly bastard he is too, the last time he washed was during the 40 days flood, his favorite past time was (as you would expect) rolling in shit. So when he did spend time down with us real folks he spent most of his time down the local sewerage outlet rummaging about.
Needless to say he isn't too good at his job, rather than passing on the relevant info from the Big Man, he goes on 'waddle about'. Seeing what free stuff he can con out of everyone.

[ Edit: Fixed italics ]

36. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 12y Star this if you like it!

We interrupt this story for an important newsflash:

Reporter: In what's being called a fit of wanderlust and unbridled passion, Dolly the sheep has escaped from TP Novel Three with an unknown accomplice. She was last seen driving down the TP backroads with her fleece blowing in the wind. Anyone with information about these two travellers is asked to call Police Inspector Kermit the Frog at 555.

37. Posted by Jase007 (Respected Member 8870 posts) 12y Star this if you like it!

Now this episode has turned into an edition of SOAP, we would like to point out that if you were not totaly confussed at the start, you surely will be by the end
Normal, well as normal as it's going to get will continue after the beep


38. Posted by Jase007 (Respected Member 8870 posts) 12y Star this if you like it!

Now, where were we?
Ah, thats right at the brothal.

The followig morning, Tina was wading her way through the paperwork, and what a chore it was.
Muttering to herself "why did the tax department want with all these figgures, and didn't they realise just how hard it was to type a letter on a pc when you had hooves!!".

The blood had dried up on her ear, but it pissed her off that she had a chunk missing now. That bloody fool Richard hadden't been much use either, for every sheet he was now washing he messed it up again. How could so much fluid come out of one antelope?

There was a knock at the door.
"Who is it?" Tina asked.
"It's GodsPA, I've got some stuff to talk to you about", came the reply.
Tina:"Oh, if you must, it better be important"
GodsPA: "Oh, it's important all right. From the big man himself"
As GodsPA opened the door Tina could see that he was troubled, and for a warthog with the brain power of a strawberry that was saying something.
Tina: "Sit down, you look troubled, would you like a drink?"
GodsPA: "Cheers, can you make it a double. I hear that you have a couple of kangaroos that can mix the meanest martinis' around".

39. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 12y Star this if you like it!

Meanwhile - as Tina unceremoniously fires her bartender and tries to convice the kangaroos to take over the position because GodsPA has requested one of their mean double martinis... (Who can argue with GodsPA...)

The manhunt for Dolly and the unknown accomplice continues. Reports flood in from around the world. They have been spotted in Paris, in Hong Kong, in St Petersberg, in New York City, in Amsterdam (now that one may be true), and even in Katmandu....

Distraught over the news that his beloved Dolly has disappeared without a trace, George turns to Francine for comfort. Francine, of course, is willing to oblige.

"George, you know Dolly was no good for you. She cared only for herself and the bright lights of Broadway."

"Francine, do you really think Dolly is headed for Broadway??? Maybe we should call the authorities and let them know."

"George, forget about that floozy! Let me show you what a real female can do for you."

"Oh Francine, I don't know... Oh, Franci.... Oh, oh, ooohhhhhh...." George falls silent.

Suddenly, and unexpectedly as usual, the door of Francine's apartment explodes inwardly, splinters of wood flying across the room....

"Where's my wife???" demanded a very large Doberman Pincher who adjusted his spiked collar and then grabbed George by his chest fleece.

"I.. I... I... don't know what you're talking about... You're wife?? You're married to Francine?? I didn't know....." replied George in a weak, pathetic voice.

"DOLLY! My wife is Dolly! Now where is she? Tell me or alpaca gets shaved! Alpaca chops with a bit of mint jelly are my favorite meal. Now don't mess me about. Gggggrrrrrr" The Doberman lets loose of the very limp llama, produces a pair of wool shears and turns toward Francine....

40. Posted by Jase007 (Respected Member 8870 posts) 12y Star this if you like it!

meanwhile yes another one of these Dolly could be found swanning around the Hollywood set, she loved this life and all the attention. Thinking to herself, "this is fantastic, everyone loves me, they hang on my every word. Best of all, they will do anything I want them to do".
And boy did she want them to do something !!!!
(for anyone out there thinking of cloning a sheep, especially one with that had a mad streak as long as the M1 (a motorway) - DON'T. the maddness gets cloned also)
"I will have all the Guinness in the world afterall", Dolly muttered under her breath. This was just a stepping stone being the face of the company, little did they know that she was plotting to syphon off all the production runs from around the world just to steal the luck of the paddies.