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do i go or not...

Travel Forums Australia / New Zealand & The Pacific do i go or not...

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1. Posted by floflo (Budding Member 3 posts) 11y Star this if you like it!


I was wondering if anyone had been in this position and any advice on what i should decide to do?

Iv been planning on going to oz on a working holiday for the last 2 years, i also have family over there i would love to see.. ill have enough money to go in july 07!

Only problem is my boyfriend doesnt want to go at all(says he will go in 3yrs after we have lived together etc..he isnt interested in travelling at all)in my opinion it will never happen and ill of missed out, iv had my heart set on it and its all i wanna do, just cant imagine not going!

Basically i jus want to kno what u think i should do - i really wanna go but at the same time i dont kno if i could leave him?? Do i go anyway.. ?? Aaaah!! I feel torn big time.


2. Posted by jenko2 (Full Member 123 posts) 11y Star this if you like it!

go it something that you really want to do and i get the feeling from your message that you have already decided you are going and just want people to say your doing the right thing. if your boyfriend doesnt want to go now why will he in thre years ? once you move in ogether and settle then getting the funds to go will be more difficult so if you wanna do this do it and if you and him are ment to be he will a change his mind and come or b wait for you to travel and be here waitin for your return
go and haave a gert time

3. Posted by chez2oz (Budding Member 8 posts) 11y Star this if you like it!

GO!! Definatly!!

I was with my ex for 3 years and like you always wanted to travel but as he had a kid it was never an option for him. For this reason among others we split. I leave in October, and although I am crapping myself about going alone, I totally feel I've done the right thing.

You should never be stopped following a dream by anyone. If this is something you REALLY want to do then you have to go do it!! All that will happen as time goes on is you will want it more. Not to be mean or anything: but how are you gonna feel in a couple of years time if you've still not been and things have gone wrong between you?? Not saying that will happen but we can't see the future. I just found that the more you put things off the more you'll end up resenting him.

You never know...if you are ment to be he could realise that before you go and end up going with you anyway. Or you could see how things are when your back and travelling is out of your system.

Just remember there is only one of you and millions of men on this planet!! I know which one I want to please first!

4. Posted by DanT1980 (Budding Member 33 posts) 11y Star this if you like it!

I was in the same position 3 years ago. My girlfriend didn't want to go... or atleast said she didn't at that time. It was the most difficult decision I have ever had to make.... was still undecided right up until However, I decided that I wanted to travel, and if I didn't go and it didn't work out with her then I would forever regret it. I decided to go... and had the best time of my life. I have no regrets.

We kept in contact throughout the trip, and when I got back we met up again. This may sound harsh, but I found I had nothing in common with her anymore. If she was meant to be, we would have got back together. You may not want to hear it, but if (or when!) you go travelling, you will become a different person, and I expect would leave your boyfriend behind.

My advice would be go for it.... it would be awful if you turned your back on a dream and regretted it forever

5. Posted by robbo_gsi (Full Member 81 posts) 11y Star this if you like it!

I second what Dans sayin! am leavin my girlfriend of 3 and half yrs behind to go for a year (leaving in 4 weeks time), but its definitly worth the risk although its gonna be the hardest thing to do.

Your always gonna get people who'll disagree with you if you do go, but they're the ppl who'll never do anything like what your about to do.

all the best :)

6. Posted by mandylou4u (Budding Member 73 posts) 11y Star this if you like it!

Hi hun. Have been in the same pickle myself. I had been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, and we had planned to travel together. As he was in a lot of debt I came to realise, I would not get the opportunity to for atleast another 2 years if I waited for him. I was living with him at the time also.
For some unknown reason this passion to travel thrived in me and I booked it on my own for 3 weeks time! I did it with the intention to stay together and that if we were strong enough we could work through it but it seemed that didn't happen at the time. We did have our own problems anyway, but it was the fact I had booked it and he didn't want to talk about it ever etc that split us up evidently (2 mnths ago). Anyway I moved home, got over it and for some unknown reason I started seeing my ex ex. Decided that was stupid, will always have strong feelings for him but will never be able to trust him, I trust my ex. My ex has been begging me since to take him back, he's prepared to do anything for me, said he will 100% be here when I get back, he even know's I got back with my ex ex for a while and he still want's to work through it. He has also said what ever happens in Oz he doesn't want to know about but he loves me enough to want to be with me when I get back. He even bought me a St Christopher on a silver chain and a maglite which he engraved with the dates I'm travelling on it! I'm extrememly scared as this is completely the wrong time for me but I've realised how much he means to me and we are going to make the most of our time together now and see how it goes. I'm glad he's also learnt to appreciate me and he'd never stop me going, he's told me he'd throw me on the plane if I decide not to go because of him!!!
To be honest I think, without a doubt definately go and follow your dreams. If you don't you will resent him. He will realise how strong you are and if your willing to work through it, there's no reason why it should affect your relationship. If it does he's not worth it, jealous and he's lost the best thing he ever had. His loss babe! Follow your heart......;)

7. Posted by Adam24 (Budding Member 7 posts) 11y Star this if you like it!


I think you are in the same position that thousands of travellers have been in. it is a very hard decision to make and I know how you feel having gone through it myself!
All I can say is you do not get many opportunities in your life to do something as amazing as travelling, and believe me it is far better then you could ever imagine! it will change you to be a better more confident person.
You have the est of your life to settle down, now is th time to see the world and get new experiences.
I went away with 4 other lads, we all had girlfriends and it was a very hard decision for all of us but we decided to go for it.
We all kept in touch with our gf's over the year we were away and are all back in england again and are back with your gf's.
personally it has made our relationship stronger becuase now i have seen the world and got it out of my system i am much more content to setlle down and have a serious relationship

Id say go, but this has to be something that you really want


8. Posted by carosterns (Respected Member 159 posts) 11y Star this if you like it!

If you are planning on getting a visa and working, the older you get, the harder the visa will be to get (that great Aussie point system we have). Oz is definately worth the visit and the world is full of men. If he is supportive of you and your ideals, hopes and dreams now, he never will be.

9. Posted by floflo (Budding Member 3 posts) 11y Star this if you like it!

Thankyou all so much for your reply's...I feel so much better that other people have been through the same n think i should go for it.

Im gonna go without a doubt... i think i always knew i would its jus hard actually telling him im going and getting his reaction as i kno he wont be impressed aswell as gutted but at the end of the day i will end up resenting him for stopping me, we have already had numerous arguments over it! I dont think he will wait for me, he'll cut his nose off to spite his face but thats his choice and if he doesnt he obviously wasnt for me in the first place! However this is easier said than done..haha!

Thanks again n ill keep everyone updated with my travel plans! xx

10. Posted by carosterns (Respected Member 159 posts) 11y Star this if you like it!

It will be the greatest thing you have ever done.