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31. Posted by dutchie (Budding Member 22 posts) 11y Star this if you like it!

i think you have a very limited understanding of this sort of thing, but you are netiteld to your views. yes, she did make some bad decisiosn while in extreme ditress, but saying that the police will be your friend after these criems shows the level of naivety that you were so quick to criticize.

anyway, what happened, happened, all i can do is hope that it deosn't happen to someone else.

32. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 11y Star this if you like it!

Hello Aharrold.

I think reporting these things is very frightening, for women.
There is the fear, that she may not be believed. And that there may be no female cop, for her to talk with. And women commonly fear, that they may be accused of having done something, to provoke the attack. She may even wonder, if her short skirt or her flirting, or whatever makes her guilty(of course, she is not guilty, but when in distress, women often wonder if they are to blame).
And, there is the horror, that she may have to go through a physical examination, after she has just been touhed so much, against her will.
She would be more likely to go to the police, if she is accompanied, by an understanding and supportive friend, to be with her and comfort her, when the police are , well maybe interrogating is too strong a word, but she may feel interrogated.
By the time she finds this friend, after the attack, and the friend listens to her and calms her, a lot of time may have gone by, and the evidence no longer exists, for the police to examine.


33. Posted by aharrold45 (Travel Guru 1281 posts) 11y Star this if you like it!

Sure I reckon it would be frightening to report these things, but one would think that even in a very stressful situation like that would be, you would want to get that moron off the street (or out of the hostel) so that he could not do it to anyone else. As for the no female cop, well I guess that would just have to be something that you'd have to risk. Knowing that police are on your side not a rapists side has got to mean something and get you feeling more at ease in a place full of people ready to pounce on the guy if he reappears. If this situation did happen, I really do hope that she isn't of the opinion that all males are like that, and that she isn't going to be scarred forever in to never being able to have a relationship with a male due to the fear that the unthinkable might happen again. I guess peoples minds just vary from person to person, but I know on a few occasions in the past when I have had extreme violence against me (two of which were in countries I didn't speak more than a couple of words of the language), first thing I did was get to a police station as quick as possible and then also got my haircut after woulds to change my appearance a bit.

34. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 11y Star this if you like it!

I doubt that she will think all men are like that.
I am sure she must have met plenty of other types men, besides that one in Italy.

I have spoken with women, who have been asaulted or raped by men. They do seem to get on with their lives, like anybody else. However, they often seem to be apprehensive and/or fearful, in certain situations. One female friend of my boyfriend who has been raped told him, that it has caused a lot of probems, in her present relationship, even though her boyfriend is a nice guy. But me and my boyfriend are not experts, so we dont really know.

Yeah, it would be good, if this man does not get a chance, to do this again. But, I really dont think anything more can be done, about it, right now. If the woman does not want to go to the police, her feelings must be respected. She has already been disrespected and violated way too much. Let her handle it how she wants.

35. Posted by dutchie (Budding Member 22 posts) 11y Star this if you like it!

she doesn't want to be interrogated by the police, but does want to prvent this happening to other young girls. she foudn the hostel on the net, hoperfully people will find the warnings the same way, although many sites take off this sort of thing imediately as their clients are their income and no crime was ever proven.

36. Posted by Sam I Am (Admin 5588 posts) 11y Star this if you like it!

FYI, this article is precisely why I discourage defaming businesses online. In matters where a criminal offense has occurred, you should seek criminal prosecution (ie. police etc.) imo. By not doing that and then going out online and writing it there for all to see, you are in fact committing a criminal act yourself and could very well be held liable. Especially by the owner of the business, someone who might very well have sacked the manager if the police had come knocking on his door but now didn't have the chance.

Naturally I feel terrible for your friend, I just really don't think this is the way to go about vindicating it, especially if your friend just wants to forget about it. You can bet on it that the police will follow up with her if the owner starts a lawsuit against you... (just to be clear what you're actually putting yourself up to here!)

37. Posted by dutchie (Budding Member 22 posts) 11y Star this if you like it!

I'm more concerend about the safety of young people than a businesses reputation, but I would be willing to dicsuss wit hthe owner, however the contact numbers for this place do not work, and the itlain tourist info has no details either. can anyone help with a phone number?

38. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 11y Star this if you like it!

Hello Dutchie

I think Sam may be right.
Get that stuff off the internet, and ask to have this thread deleted. It really is not worth creating trouble for yourself, with the law. There are often posts on this forum, about people worrying about the effect their criminal records will have on their lives. It seems to follow them. They worry, that they wont get into this or that courntry, or get a particular visa. And it can also effect your chances of getting certain jobs. I had to produce a police record,for a job I had. If i had not had a clean record, maybe i would not have got that job. It is just not worth it, because of somebody like this manager.

It is likely that the hostel owner knows nothing about the managers behaviour. Send a private letter, to him or her. If they get a few complaints like this, I think they will get rid of that manager.


39. Posted by dutchie (Budding Member 22 posts) 11y Star this if you like it!

i tried to call the place, but the phone number does not work (wonder why).

plus, defamtion is not a criminal matter but a civil one. I doubt I am at any risk, and even if I am I am prepared to stand up to this.

40. Posted by oslaue (Full Member 571 posts) 11y Star this if you like it!

this thread still about hey...

all problems will be resolved if you go to the police ONE WAY OR THE OTHER...there is no buts, if's etc GO TO THE POLICE! first! before talking to the owners of the hostel. dont bother taking this into your own hands, its why the police have procedures to follow first.

if you go to the owners first the police will be very surprised at this move! that is a very unsual move...most people go to the police first then to the owner...go to owner and he gets sacked? big deal...he just goes and works for another hostel...