Skip Navigation


Travel Forums Off Topic HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAGERED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 9y Star this if you like it!

...After leaving Sri Lanka at the end of October, the pirate ship, it's crew and Captain have had enough time to get to their next destination without too much incidence. The rum is still in good supply but the beer ran out halfway through the voyage. This is not acceptable and we must get to the next port of call for a refill. Luckily, we know who can help with this endeavor between bites of birthday cake. The ship has traversed the Mighty Mississippi River and all of it's locks, entered the Illinois River and then the Pecatonica River only to be stopped in Freeport, Illinois because of shallow waters. Following a flurry of grumbling mixed with some very colorful profanity, the Captain and crew board a Greyhound bus for the remainder of the journey. "Why do we have to take the bus? It's crowded and smells funny!" "It's either the bus or walking, which do you prefer?"How far is it? "About 24 miles." "Okay, guess it's the bus but it still smells funny and I wanted a window seat."

As the bus pulls into the sleepy little town of Monroe, Wisconsin, the crew raises their collective voice in song...

Me and the boys are just in town
Shake 'em up roll 'em down
I guess it was fate
I hope I wasn't too late

Bad bad boys was on our trail
Federales threw us all in jail
But these words keep ringin' in my ear

A little bit is better than nada
Sometime you want the whole enchilada
A little bit is better than nada
A little bit or nothing at all

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TYLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here's hoping you have a wonderful day (Nov. 9th) celebrating with family and friends. Oh, and Finn too. Penelope doesn't care - she's a cat after all. Though, she may have left you a little present... I'd look in my shoes before putting them on if I were you... Again, enjoy the day because it's back to the beermine tomorrow.

...While on the topic of the beermine, and between bites of birthday cake, could you please help us load these kegs of beer onto the bus? There are only 125 half-barrels and we'll try to return the empties next time we're anywhere near North America. Just look for them along the beaches of Florida and California. And as Lagered loads the bus with the kegs, Captian Isa and the crew head to the town square for some Liverwurst, Limburger and onion sandwiches at the local bar. Oh, and a few pints of the local beer...

2. Posted by beerman (Respected Member 1631 posts) 9y Star this if you like it!

...and as the back room of Baumgartners (the local bar) fills with soon-to-be drunken birthday sailors, Admiral Beerman and Captain Isa belly up to the bar.....

Why yes, I would like a limburger and onion on rye with horseradish mustard sandwich, thank you. Snookums, something for you? A ration of rum and a pale ale? Certainly. Oh barkeep, please to take order while Beerman performs Dance of Happy for Boy of Birthday!!!

....and in a flash of really not so blinding light, accompanied by the entire Turner Hall Oompah Polka band, Beerman arrives, replete with dazzling green speedo and live pirate parrot on his shoulder......

Hallloooooo, Mr. Beer-Sounding-Name you, it is I, Beerman, here to make Happy at you on this, your most Happy of Happy Days. Ta DAAAAAAA!!!!! What is you are say Mr. Squawky (the parrot)? You have to make pee? Of course, little Parrots Room is right over there, under large elk head statue, next to sign saying Don't eat Limburger with your nose....yes, right there. Now, where was Beerman? Oh yes, making Happy. But feerst, a musical interlude......Oompah band will play their exciting rendition of La Pistola y El Corazon for Mr. Beer-Sounding Name....hit it boys!!!!!

Oompah pah, oompah pah oompah pah poh, oompah oompah oompah pah pah.......(and continues long into night).....

Please to show excitement at will. We are to name for you a new sandwich in your honor today...the LageredWich, a delicacy of limburger cheese, onion, pickles, hard salami, smoked eel, horseradish mustard, and melted Velveeta. Ta DAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! BARKEEP, LAGEREDWICHES ALL AROUND!!!!!!

....and as the strains of music fill the room, and the sailor-pirate-peoples become immersed in euchre, dominoes, and Golden Tee 2008, Beerman bellies back up the bar for a scintillating conversation with Isa and the owners of the bar who were previously occupied sticking dollar bills onto the ceiling.......

3. Posted by Hien (Travel Guru 3906 posts) 9y Star this if you like it!


Have a great one!

4. Posted by arif_kool (Travel Guru 1757 posts) 9y Star this if you like it!

Happy Birthday Tyler:)

Hope u have a nice time and may this birthday bring lots of happiness and good fortune for u


5. Posted by summer910 (Respected Member 1342 posts) 9y Star this if you like it!

Happy Birthday, Tyler!