American in love with an Aussie... what to do?

Travel Forums Off Topic American in love with an Aussie... what to do?

1. Posted by portiaaa (Inactive 1 posts) 10y Star this if you like it!

Hello all,

I have a bit of a dilemma that I desperately need help with :(. I fell in love with an Australian/Irish guy, Tomas, and now we are stuck on opposite sides of the world and we don't know what to do. I apologize in advance for spilling my heart out, but I feel as though others that have been in similar situations may be able to give me the best advice out of anyone else that I know.

I arrived back in the US a week ago after spending a semester in Australia. I went to Australia having a boyfriend in America who I had been with for over 3 years and came back with no boyfriend and a heart longing for my Aussie man...

I found an amazing group of friends 3 months into my time there (I had friends by then of course, but not my kind of crowd) and formed a close friendship with one of my guy friends. At first, all I saw him as was a great friend and respected him for the amazing person he is.. But before I knew it, we developed feelings for one another but with some reserve. We both told ourselves we wouldn't get attached since I was leaving 8 weeks later...easy enough right? Not so much. We fell for each other harder than we ever anticipated... In the beginning, I honestly didn't even find him very physically attractive; not because he is unattractive, but just because he wasn't up to par with my "usual standards". Now, I can't imagine being with anyone else. I wouldn't change a thing about him. He is a beautiful person and treats me with the utmost respect. Every aspect of our time together was wonderful - no arguments, amazing sex life, mutual respect and understanding and anything you could possibly ask for in a relationship. I broke up with my boyfriend back home of 3 years because my relationship with Tomas helped me realize what a relationship really should be like and allowed me to see my relationship back home for what it really was. During my first three months I already started to realize that I no longer wanted that relationship but my Aussie relationship further solidified my decision.

I know that a relationship goes through a "honeymoon" phase where everything seems perfect and you feel like you could be with that person forever. Believe me, I experienced a version of a honeymoon phase with my ex-boyfriend of 3 years. But it was never like this. Even then I could spot his flaws, even then I could tell that there were things I didn't like and didn't accept.

Tomas and I both graduate with our bachelor's degrees in 2012. Seems both close and far away. We want to visit each other during the holidays and between semesters... but we're afraid it will be far too painful to say goodbye again. But at the same time, we wouldn't change a thing that has happened and are grateful to have such a strong connection with one another.

I want out relationship to stay strong but I don't want us to miss out on opportunities ... is it better to let someone go, as hard as it is, or fight for something meaningful?

Sorry for the long post, I appreciate any feedback!