What happened when......

Travel Forums Travel Companions What happened when......

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1. Posted by samsara_ (Travel Guru 5353 posts) 13y Star this if you like it!

What were your experiences of arranging to meet up with a travelling companion abroad?

2. Posted by Gelli (Travel Guru 2457 posts) 13y Star this if you like it!

6 months for attempted manslaughter and a criminal record

3. Posted by Sam I Am (Admin 5588 posts) 13y Star this if you like it!

Well Gelli, that bodes well for my meeting you in Stockholm then I guess

4. Posted by Gelli (Travel Guru 2457 posts) 13y Star this if you like it!

Sam – providing you keep the beers coming, you’ve nothing to worry about…

No, I’ve actually travelled with quite a few people I’ve met online (who I’ve met with the aim of traveling with) – 8 or 9 I think, and all in the last maybe 3 years or so. Although some I definitely wouldn’t travel with again, or certainly for more than a few days (and in a couple of cases it didn’t last as long as originally envisioned), I’m still very good friends with all of them, and have seen all bar one again since we traveled. The only reason i've not seen her since is she’s now in Japan, and we plan to travel together in the far east later this year.

A couple I’ve hooked up with for a specific reason – For example, I was looking for somebody to just share the cost of a room in the Icehotel with, but we ended up spending close to 2 weeks traveling together. Two I had planned to spend a year crossing Africa with, in a land rover although that plan was unfortunately put on the back burner. Some have just been a case of people heading in the same direction at the same time, most for no other reason than I was bored at the time and replied to a post somewhere… ((seriously)).

Experiences have been mixed, but I wouldn’t change any of them. From a personal point of view I’ve always made it clear from the start that it will be on a see what happens basis, and that after a short period (say a few days/week tops), there can not be any obligation on either side to continue together and we can split. Providing that’s made clear, that’s fine. The idea of committing myself to travel with anybody for more than a week scares the living sh1t out of me. Yes it can (and sometimes has) gone on for much longer, but like most blokes, the word “commitment” is one I’m not fond of… ;)

With all of them I’ve tried to have a least a month or two of email tag first. I get on with most people, but I know it doesn’t work both ways (allot of people can't put up with me) and as such I tend to be able to tell relatively quickly if I’m going to be able to put up with them for at least a week, but more relevantly - whether I think they’ll be able to put up with me for any length of time. A couple I’ve chatted with on MSN, one I met for a few drinks first – plus a couple which came to nothing as it was obvious within minutes it wouldn’t work - and in one case we met for a weekend first, but with most the I’ve first spoken/met/seen for the first time has been when we meet up in whichever random place we’ve agreed on. Interestingly – or not – all except 1 have been female (and before someone asks, no).

It’s basically just being honest with yourself about how you are and what you want etc. There’s nothing worse than becoming the partner of somebody who is (a) utterly reliant on you and follows your every move (b) always agrees with everything you say and doesn’t offer any ideas/opinions/initiatives (c) thinks you’ve agreed to spend 2 weeks together and is going to spend that 2 weeks with you regardless of how badly it’s going. If any of those things happen, point in the opposite direction, Shout “LOOK!!!” and run like fuck when their back is turned… Clash of personality is the biggest issue, and you have to be brave enough to say fuck it if it’s not/won’t work.

However, as I’m quite happy (actually prefer) to travel alone, or with odd people I happen to meet along the way – so much better as there’s never any commitment. You stay together as long as it works/is convenient for both and then go your different way - it doesn’t really matter much to me if I don’t find anybody. It has to be a partnership/team effort. If not, s0d it and go alone!

And i've now actually forgotten the original question!

5. Posted by samsara_ (Travel Guru 5353 posts) 13y Star this if you like it!

THat's the most informative answer Ive had so far Gelli. Thanks

I agree with everything you said however Ive never had the experience myself. Im taking off around the world later this year and inevitably there will be occasions where I might be glad to travel with somebody or meet people that I get on well with and continue with for a while, but ultimately I too am a loner at heart and would eventually want to go my own way again. So, I was interested to see what other people experienced in this regard...

Thanks, that was insightful...


6. Posted by Gelli (Travel Guru 2457 posts) 13y Star this if you like it!

THat's the most informative answer Ive had so far Gelli. Thanks

No worries. In fairness, it couldn't be less informative than my original answer could it...

One think i forgot to add above, and very important - Whether you plan beforehand or mett on the way, always keep your wits about you. Unfortunatley there are backpackers etc who fund their travels through pick pocketing other travellers, and it's easyo to let your gurad down, especially in areas with fewer tourists, and on places like trains (hostels you guard is already slightly up). Not to say don't trust them, avoid them, or be overly suspicious, but for instance, don't let on to where you vaulables are to anybody until you are 100% sure its ok, even other westermers. Get stuff out in a toilet cubicle, for example so nobody needs to know about it.

And most importantly, trust your instincts

7. Posted by samsara_ (Travel Guru 5353 posts) 13y Star this if you like it!

good advice. i'll bear that in mind. thanks Gelli:)

8. Posted by lil j (Travel Guru 1303 posts) 13y Star this if you like it!

Hey-here i am again-i do like to crop up every now and then, im totally with you guys on that one... you should never trust anyone-well thats how i am...not much can go wrong that way! Even when you think you know someone-you don't.

I think it prob is easy to rely on someone else but i am so determinded not to get like that-ever, i want to do things for myself as and when they suit me, sod that now- doing things for other people-it gets you no-where and i know that sounds really harsh!

I sometimes think about travelling with someone but i want to do this on my own. I have become quite comfortable with the fact of amusing myself and i think that that is such a great quality to have...i'm developing it and hope that travelling will give me more confidence-in this respect. I really admire people who have this quality-how cheesy does that sound-but this is on a serious note!!

Dont get me wrong i love to socialise but there's one person that you can really rely on in this life and it is only yourself.

9. Posted by Gelli (Travel Guru 2457 posts) 13y Star this if you like it!

Lil J - don't take it to extremes. If you actively avoid any travel with other people, you loose a chunk of the experience and get otehr problems. If you don't have a partner when you leave, that's fine (and normally best!), but if you meet peopl eon the way who you can travel with mutually for a few days or even longer, go with it.

Obviously only go as long as it suits you (or suits you both), but if you even reject that possibility i think you'll regret it. Allot of my better friends (including best friend), a business partner and my ex-fiancee were all people i randomly met when travelling and then spent time together with.

10. Posted by lil j (Travel Guru 1303 posts) 13y Star this if you like it!

Oh yeh don't get me wrong i love meeting people and of course i want to meet people while out and about-i would feel i'd missed out if i didn't! but yeh as long as it suits you both-i agree!

Hopefully i will meet lots of people that i can keep in contact with but i'd rather do it on my own than with a close mate. I don't argue or fall out with people and never have done and i've heard stories of people falling out while travelling together and this way i can do what i want when i want, at least i will (hopefully) get more out of it if i don't have another person to consider!-not saying that i would be very inconsiderate with someone that i've just met-ive got a way with words haven't i?!!!

I know what i mean, he! he!